For Kids

Do you know that there are lots of kids who know someone who has died?

The person who died might be a parent, brother, sister, grandparent, aunt, uncle, or friend. When someone dies there are lots of big feelings.

Things that can help with the feelings...

From the book Healing Your Grieving Heart For Kids by Alan Wolflet, Ph.D.

Someone you love has died. This is probably a very sad and very hard time for you. The painful thoughts and feelings you have inside are called grief. You need to let those thoughts and feelings out. Letting out your grief is called mourning. The following things will help you mourn so you can feel better and live a happy, full life again.

* Let yourself feel whatever you feel.

Your grief isn't exactly like anyone else's. Your thoughts and feelings will be different. It's OK to feel whatever you feel: sad, mad, maybe scared, sometimes even happy. No feelings are wrong or bad.

* Talk to a grown-up you trust.

It's important to talk to grown-ups about your grief. Don't be afraid to ask questions - lots of questions. Some grown-ups will be better than others at helping you with your grief. Find one or two grown-ups who make you feel safe and loved - and who will answer your questions openly and honestly. Talk to them.

* Talk to a friend.

Your friends probably don't know what to say or do about your grief. Not many kids have had someone they love die. But maybe you have one friend who's a really good listener. Talk to him or her about death.

* Talk about the person who died.

It's good to talk about the person who died. After all, this person was a big part of your life. And he or she will always be a part of your memories. Talk about the death. Tell stories about him or her. Ask questions about the life of the person who died.

* Cry.

Crying is not just for babies. Crying is for anyone - young or old - who feels sad. Crying helps your body let out its sadness. Maybe you can find a grown-up who will hold you whenever you feel like crying.

* Find a "grief hide-out."

Maybe you can find a private spot to go when you want to be alone with your grief. It could be a fort in your backyard or a quiet place somewhere in your house. When you're in your grief hide-out, you can cry, write, draw or just sit and think.

* Let yourself feel happy.

Just because something sad has happened in your life doesn't mean you should always feel sad. Do something every day that makes you feel happy. Smile, laugh and play. Be a kid.

The above excerpts are graciously donated by Alan Wolflet, Ph.D. from his book Healing Your Grieving Heart For Kids.