Impact Stories
Honoring the Caregivers Who Care for Grieving Kids
May 4, 2023
Wendy Bermingham discusses motherhood and grief in recognition of Caregivers this Mother’s Day.
The caregivers who care for grieving children are the unsung heroes in these kids grief journeys. These caregivers help children understand their grief while often navigating their own.
In honor of our immeasurable gratitude to the caregivers in our lives, we spoke with volunteer Wendy Bermingham about her experience caring for grieving kids and how her definition of mother has evolved throughout her grieving process.
Following the death of her husband, Wendy realized how little she knew about grief and how important it is to support those who are grieving. She wanted to learn more about grief and the support available in her community, so she began volunteering with Judi’s House in November 2021.
She feels strongly that the work of Judi’s House is important and valuable. Despite the heavy subject that brings people together here, she feels there is so much positive energy at Judi’s House. She loves the people who work, volunteer, and come to find connection and healing. Wendy’s support is invaluable to us. We appreciate her willingness support all aspects of our organization.
How has the experience of bereavement changed your definition of mom/caregiver?
My definition of “Mom” after the loss of my husband immediately became about being the whole parent. While the sole responsibility felt weightier at first, the focus has become more about my relationship with my children than my “role”. Hopefully it’s a more multi-dimensional and holistic approach.
How did your understanding of the role of “Mom” changed through your grief journey?
As a mom, I will always feel compelled to lead and guide my children, but I’m now also more willing and able to walk alongside them with greater support and compassion. I don’t have all the answers, I can’t fix every problem, but I can more consciously hold space for their experience while sharing mine. I hope they will continue to be open and do the same with me and others.
What message do you want to share with others grieving a loss on Mother’s Day?
I’ve found that connection with others is truly healing and empowering. It may seem contradictory, but there is something incredibly positive and freeing about doing the hard work of processing grief. It’s not a finite process but I continue to build closer relationships and perhaps live a fuller life through my death loss.
Tell us about the traits of being a mother you celebrate in your everyday life, what do you hope your children learn from you?
I try to celebrate the stickiness, messiness of being a mom and the feeling that I often don’t say or do the right/best thing. I celebrate the humility and the learning. Growing WITH our children is a generous gift.
