Impact Stories

Cherishing Caregivers this Mother’s Day

May 4, 2023

Ana Tenzer opens up about grieving her mother during holiday’s like Mother’s Day and what the caregiver’s in her life have taught her.

This Mother’s Day, we acknowledge the sorrow of losing a mother figure, and the significance of every person filling the role of “Mom,” regardless of gender or biological connection. In honor of the caregivers in our lives who love and support us, we spoke with Board Member Ana Tenzer about how the death of her mother and her grief journey has led her to connection and healing.

Ana Tenzer started her work with Judi’s House as a volunteer, supporting the planning for our annual luncheon. She then went on to join our Board of Directors, bringing with her a wealth of knowledge from her personal and professional experience and a full-hearted support for our mission. Ana’s father died when she was nine years old and her mother died when she was nineteen. She intimately understands the isolation of being a child who is grieving, and deeply believes in our vision that no child should be alone in grief.

What do you do to honor/remember your mom on Mother’s Day? Do you have any new traditions you do on this day now?

I always spend the day with my siblings on Mother’s Day remembering and telling stories about our mother. We miss her and we feel so fortunate she was our mom even for a short while (she died when my sister and I, twins, were 19 and my brother was 30).  It keeps her memory alive for us to reminisce about her and know she would be proud of us today.

Being a mother doesn’t always mean a blood connection. How did you look to other adults in your life to fill that caregiver role?

My two aunts were wonderful to my sister and me.  We were very close to my cousins, and we felt included in their lives for holidays. Our older brother was also very caring and made sure the three of us stuck together on all occasions. He would send us weekly letters when we were away in college so we remained close. My father had died when I was 10 so my brother and my aunts and uncles were all the family we had.

How has the experience of bereavement changed your definition of mom/caregiver?

I have tried to be there for my daughter and son in a loving and supportive way day in and day out despite working full time as a lawyer. The loss of your mom and dad helps you to recognize how those roles are irreplaceable and providing that stability to your kids that you are not going anywhere and are here for them, without putting fear into them, was how my definition of Mom changed with my own bereavement.

What message do you want to share with others grieving the loss of a mother or caregiver on Mother’s Day?

Recognize that if you are grieving for your mom, she must have been pretty special, and your life honors her memory. Always remember the good she taught you, and gain strength from the loss because if she weren’t fabulous, you’d not be grieving.

Tell us about the traits of your mother/caregiver that you celebrate in your everyday life, what have you learned from them?

My Mom taught me to be strong, speak my mind, and fight and work hard for what I want. She made me feel that anything was possible with hard work, and I honor her every day with my hard work and support of those people and missions, like Judi’s House, that I love and respect.