Impact Stories

Pride Month Resource: The Center on Colfax

June 28, 2023

Sandra Zapata from the Center on Colfax on giving the LGBTQIA+ community a safe space to grieve and how found families provide connection and healing.

In celebration of Pride Month, Judi’s House/ JAG Institute is sharing conversations and resources for grieving LGBTQIA+ individuals and those who want to support them. This week, we talked with Sandra Zapata, Director of Youth Services for the Center on Colfax.

The Center on Colfax is the largest LGBTQIA+ community center in the Rocky Mountain region and offers inclusive programs and fosters connections within the LGBTQIA+ community. Their program, Rainbow Alley provides events, counseling, and health services specifically created for LGBTQIA+ youth and their allies.

Sandra discusses the importance of giving folx a safe space to grieve and the importance of found families within LGBTQIA+ communities who provide the love and support necessary to heal after a death loss.

What would you like our community to understand about the intersection of queer identity and grief?

There are few spaces where this intersection is acknowledged. Sometimes dealing with folk’s who are part of the LGBTQIA+ community means not making assumptions about how folks identify or who they have lost. When someone is in grief and themselves or their lost loved one is misgendered or otherwise mislabeled it can make the process feel that much more isolating.

What have you observed regarding unique aspects of grief and loss in the LGBTQIA+ community?

Sometimes when we lose folks who are part of the LGBTQIA+ community we don’t always have the ability to grieve them in a traditional way. If their family or next of kin is not supportive of their identities, we may not be able to attend services set up in their memory. Also, when we lose folks pass due to violence, oftentimes media outlets will make mistakes like misgendering the person or using their dead name (legal name), which is unnecessary and harmful.

How can our community support LGBTQIA+ folx, especially LGBTQIA+ youth and young adults?

I think it’s great to provide a space specifically for LGBTQIA+ folks. Grief is already a hard process and having a place where we know we will be safe is important.

Are there myths/unhelpful assumptions about grief in the LGBTQIA+ community that you would like to debunk/challenge?

I think it’s important to challenge the idea of family to include chosen family. Sometimes individuals are rejected or ostracized by their relatives and we depend on each other to make sure that we have the love and support we need as individuals to feel connected and safe. It’s very important to recognize chosen families to be just as valid to those of us who would not have that support otherwise.

Learn more about the Center on Colfax, their resources, events, services, and more by visiting their website.